This time it is my father. The last time it was an Aunt and the time before that it was my father-in-law. Even though I am a mental health professional my first reaction was "Why?" This is a normal response to the a traumatic news. Just as in the grieving process we start with denial. We do not believe this can be happening to us.
After being a full time care-giver for my father-in-law for nearly ten years I ignored what I was seeing. Despite observing the symptoms my father exhibited and being a trained clinician, I did not believe it and wanted to deny the reality of the diagnosis.
My father is in the early/mid range of the disease and he is 83 years old. My mother's sister is 74 years old and she is in the advanced/mid range, I believe. My father-in-law was 84 when he was diagnosed and he suffered for ten years.
"Why" I feel that I need to write this blog, is to give a voice to my own pain as I go through this with my father and hopefully to document for others what affect Alzheimer disease has on the whole family. My pain is difficult as a daughter but I can only guess at the pain my mother and my father feel as they start down this difficult road. Fortunately, despite knowing that hardship, physical toll, the emotional strain and the financial costs that my husband and I suffered with my father-in-law, I am sure they do not have a full grasp as the enormity. Additionally, even though they have seen my Uncles heart breaking journey and the journey of many of their own cohort with Alzheimer, again they have only been observers. However, now it has entered their lives and will not leave until it removes my father's precious memories, mental and physical abilities and tried to rob him of his self respect and dignity.
Over the next months and years, I will share with you my thoughts, research and experiences to hopefully provide a community that let you know that you are not alone. I also hope that as you finished reading this blog you will offer your own ideas, thoughts, experience, advice and questions. Finally, please feel free to read my other blogs, the Reach Family Therapy web site for more information on Alzheimer's, care giving, grief/loss and dying posted there, other links we have on our site at www.reachfamilytherapy.com and the other services we offer as Marriage & Family Therapists.
